Fake Identities

We all need identities. At least, so we think. But what is an identity? To answer that question,  we can start by looking into ourselves. But I want to go the other way around. I want us to think about how we perceive others. At the end, the way we look at others is no more than looking into our own mirror.

Every day is holy judgment day. Our judgement day because we behave like a jury. One minute we grade others like in a model show or another minute we rule as an honorless judge at high court. We go out on the streets and do our fine work. It doesn’t matter if it is about looks, skin color, cloth, money, religion, voice, music taste, sexual pereference or how someone likes his eggs cooked.

The mind automatically judges. This is good. This is bad. I like that, I don’t like that. This is right, this is wrong. Coming back to the identity question, most of the time we look at everything that is foreign to us with skeptical eyes. While we are babies, we look at all things with a fascinating interest, until our parents infuse us with what they believe is right and right there arbitrary identity is being born. Later with adolescence we become rebellious against basically everything. It’s a time of further identity shaping. We try new adventures, but smash them right into the ground some minutes later. At the beginning, the exotic seems alluring, but moments later when its unknown magic has vanished, we take out the whip and punish it with our own most exotic language. This is the phase where we grow our territory of horizon but paradoxically all at once stop at a point and put in concrete our identity fortress of stone. Soon, a dark period of endless medieval mouth war begins against everyone with a different view point other than that of our own. It’s a long weary war consisting of brute slaying or drowning defense claiming many victims but no real win winners.

Welcome nationalism, welcome religious fanaticism, welcome hate, welcome search without final destination for the perfect soulmate ending up in dating one shitty relationship after another. 

Isn’t it true that we just love our own “culture”, our own way of thinking? If everybody just listened to MY wise voice of eternal reason, if I ruled the world, everything would be better because I know what’s best and right. For every entire human being that wants to live in my fortress.

This is identity-building set in stone. We defined who we think we are. So far so good. Until the cracks begin to become visible and our best formula doesn’t seem to work for every situation. What we are missing in our equation is that if almost everybody thinks like that, then all what can be left is ignorance and broken glasses. Even if we somehow know that we are not perfect, we still think that we are 99% more right than the rest of the world. Just some of the multi-millionaires, famous actors, singers and models must know better otherwise they wouldn’t be that successful our mind tells us for consolation because we are yet not there where we want to be. And even then we try to find other excuses to explain their wealth. “They are idiots, but they got it from their rich parents. They have vitamin C. Lucky bastards, right place and time. Why not me? There needs to be an explanation why my life is miserable even though I know everything better. I know how the world should ideally function.”

We have to face reality: There are so many different religions in the world and all claim that they are the right ones. So many nations in the world that think they are the best ones. So many cities within countries that truly believe they are the greatest ones to live in. Don’t get me even started on soccer club fanatics… So many families within those cities that think they have the best values.

Let's stop this identity contradiction within us. We have to accept that we should be flowing rivers rather than obelisk monuments who have to show off their manhood. However, most people are not stuck in this latter solid state of total ignorance but resemble more viscous mud which affects our clear sight. If we can move from this viscous form to a fluid state, we will flow into the wide endless sea. We will become part of it. When we were younger, we needed someone to teach us how to swim in a little swimming pool. We needed to learn a certain technique by heart and train hard so we wouldn’t drown. We needed an identity. But with time, we have to let go of them and accept that there are many other individual techniques which can keep us over the water. Identity is not a race of the fastest; it’s about playing millions of different games in the water.

It’s nice to stare at the sea, but it’s nicer to get in, swim, surf and dive in it to feel and understand its whole beauty. Don’t be a stranger. The sea belongs to all of us or to no one. So take off your clothes of fake identities, get naked (maybe wearing a hot tiny swim suit) and get into the water.