We all need
identities. At least, so we think. But what is an identity? To answer that
question, we can start by looking into
ourselves. But I want to go the other way around. I want us to think about how
we perceive others. At the end, the way we look at others is no more than looking into our own mirror.
Every day
is holy judgment day. Our judgement day because we behave like a jury. One
minute we grade others like in a model show or another minute we rule as an
honorless judge at high court. We go out on the streets and do our fine work. It
doesn’t matter if it is about looks, skin color, cloth, money, religion, voice,
music taste, sexual pereference or how someone likes his eggs cooked.
The mind
automatically judges. This is good. This is bad. I like that, I don’t like
that. This is right, this is wrong. Coming back to the identity question, most
of the time we look at everything that is foreign to us with skeptical eyes.
While we are babies, we look at all things with a fascinating interest, until our
parents infuse us with what they believe is right and right there arbitrary
identity is being born. Later with adolescence we become rebellious against
basically everything. It’s a time of further identity shaping. We try new
adventures, but smash them right into the ground some minutes later. At the
beginning, the exotic seems alluring, but moments later when its unknown magic
has vanished, we take out the whip and punish it with our own most exotic language.
This is the phase where we grow our territory of horizon but paradoxically all
at once stop at a point and put in concrete our identity fortress of stone. Soon,
a dark period of endless medieval mouth war begins against everyone with a
different view point other than that of our own. It’s a long weary war
consisting of brute slaying or drowning defense claiming many victims but no
real win winners.
Welcome
nationalism, welcome religious fanaticism, welcome hate, welcome search without
final destination for the perfect soulmate ending up in dating one shitty relationship
after another.
Isn’t it
true that we just love our own “culture”, our own way of thinking? If everybody
just listened to MY wise voice of eternal reason, if I ruled the world, everything
would be better because I know what’s best and right. For every entire human
being that wants to live in my fortress.
This is
identity-building set in stone. We defined who we think we are. So far so good.
Until the cracks begin to become visible and our best formula doesn’t seem to
work for every situation. What we are missing in our equation is that if almost
everybody thinks like that, then all what can be left is ignorance and broken
glasses. Even if we somehow know that we are not perfect, we still think that
we are 99% more right than the rest of the world. Just some of the
multi-millionaires, famous actors, singers and models must know better otherwise
they wouldn’t be that successful our mind tells us for consolation because we
are yet not there where we want to be. And even then we try to find other excuses
to explain their wealth. “They are idiots, but they got it from their rich
parents. They have vitamin C. Lucky bastards, right place and time. Why not me?
There needs to be an explanation why my life is miserable even though I know everything
better. I know how the world should ideally function.”
We have to
face reality: There are so many different religions in the world and all claim
that they are the right ones. So many nations in the world that think they are
the best ones. So many cities within countries that truly believe they are the greatest
ones to live in. Don’t get me even started on soccer club fanatics… So many
families within those cities that think they have the best values.
Let's stop this identity contradiction within us. We have to accept that we should be
flowing rivers rather than obelisk monuments who
have to show off their manhood. However, most people are not stuck in this
latter solid state of total ignorance but resemble more viscous mud which affects our clear sight. If we can move from this viscous form to a fluid state, we will flow into the wide
endless sea. We will become part of it. When we were younger, we needed someone
to teach us how to swim in a little swimming pool. We needed to learn a certain
technique by heart and train hard so we wouldn’t drown. We needed an identity. But
with time, we have to let go of them and accept that there are many other
individual techniques which can keep us over the water. Identity is not a race
of the fastest; it’s about playing millions of different games in the water.
It’s nice
to stare at the sea, but it’s nicer to get in, swim, surf and dive in it to feel
and understand its whole beauty. Don’t be a stranger. The sea belongs to all of
us or to no one. So take off your clothes of fake identities, get naked (maybe
wearing a hot tiny swim suit) and get into the water.
